After 15 years in HR, Mikki Forbes, Co-Founder and COO of Forbes Consulting, LLC, now partners with executives as a Fractional HR leader to design people systems that work — systems that reduce turnover, strengthen leadership pipelines, and align everyday behavior with business goals.

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As the holiday season approaches, HR professionals across the country begin planning a familiar lineup of year-end festivities. There is often a rotation of the classics: Secret Santa gift exchanges, office potlucks, ugly sweater contests, and holiday-themed outings. These rituals are usually organized with good intentions. They are seen as opportunities to boost morale, foster camaraderie, show appreciation, and break up the year-end rush with something light and fun.

But intention is only part of the equation. The truth is that fun is not neutral, and it is certainly not universal.

Many workplace traditions are inherited, passed down year after year with little reflection on their impact or relevance to the current workforce. They often reflect the culture of the dominant group, without questioning whether that culture represents everyone at the table. What is presented as festive can unintentionally alienate. What is framed as inclusive may, in practice, be anything but.

This is where well-meaning traditions can cross into risky territory. When participation feels socially mandatory, when holiday norms assume shared beliefs or financial ability, and when visibility is tied to conformity, these events become more about fitting in than belonging. In these moments, HR’s role as a steward of culture is tested.

Organizations often default to tradition instead of intention. And when celebrations are shaped by outdated cultural templates that center Christianity, Western customs, and heteronormative family structures, HR does not foster belonging. It reinforces invisible hierarchies. Employees who do not see themselves reflected in the events may not feel safe opting out, yet may feel uncomfortable participating. That tension is a sign of exclusion dressed up in tinsel and good cheer.

This is not about being overly cautious. It is about being conscious. Celebrations are powerful cultural signals. They tell employees what the organization values, whose identities are prioritized, and which traditions are considered normal. Ignoring this reality does not neutralize it. It protects the status quo.

In an era where diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging are more than buzzwords, the stakes are higher. One employee’s fond memory of a white elephant exchange may be another employee’s reminder that their culture, faith, or financial reality is not seen. When events are designed to unify but executed without nuance, the result is not connection. It is quiet disengagement.

HR has to ask better questions. Not just “What should we do this year?” but “Who are we doing this for? Who might feel left out? And what message are we sending by doing it this way?” Those questions are where genuine inclusivity begins.

It is easy to assume a holiday celebration is simply a celebration. But festive does not mean the same thing to everyone. Some employees do not celebrate Christmas. Others have difficult or traumatic associations with the holidays. Still others may feel uncomfortable participating in activities that challenge their beliefs or their financial reality.

A report by DiversityQ highlights this issue in its coverage of Deloitte’s flexible public holiday policy. The policy allows employees to swap public holidays for days that align with their own cultural or religious observances. While simple, this policy acknowledges that a standard holiday calendar privileges certain groups while marginalizing others. It is a quiet structural shift away from cultural dominance and toward true inclusion. DiversityQ notes that when companies cling to traditional holiday calendars without flexibility, they unintentionally exclude those who do not see their identity reflected.

This example reveals a broader truth. Assuming uniformity in celebration is a form of cultural laziness. It places the burden of assimilation on employees instead of prompting the organization to adapt. What may feel like harmless fun can become a reminder of who the culture was built for and who is left navigating around it.

The goal is not to eliminate celebration. It is to recognize that meaningful inclusion starts with flexibility and respect. When HR moves from prescriptive calendars to people-centered policies, the message becomes clear: everyone deserves to feel seen, not simply accommodated.

Even when attendance is optional, workplace events often carry implicit expectations. Employees read between the lines. Will not attending affect how I am perceived? Will I seem disengaged? Will leadership remember who skipped?

Gartner’s glossary on psychological safety explains that teams perform best when people feel safe to express themselves without fear of punishment or humiliation. When holiday activities are designed without inclusivity, that sense of safety disappears. Participation becomes performative, and opting out becomes a risk.

This is especially true when events center dominant cultural norms or create situations where some employees feel on display. Secret Santa assumes employees can and want to exchange gifts. Potlucks assume they can afford to contribute or feel comfortable sharing their cultural food with colleagues who may react insensitively.

Inclusion is not about canceling holidays or draining the joy out of celebrations. It is about design. Inclusive design considers who is being centered and who is being left out. It questions tradition. It examines whether events reflect the workforce of today or simply preserve customs of the past.

SHRM recommends a proactive, values-driven approach. Their guidance emphasizes accommodations, communication, and cultural balance, not just decorations and treats. Inclusive holidays, they note, require thoughtful navigation of religious differences and a willingness to honor the full spectrum of beliefs represented in the workplace.

This can look like:

• Offering floating holidays or flexible time off during important cultural observances.
• Holding events framed around appreciation or accomplishments rather than religious or seasonal themes.
• Involving employee resource groups or diverse planning committees.
• Communicating clearly that all events are optional with no social or professional penalties.

Most missteps occur not out of malice, but momentum. We repeat the same events every year simply because they are a tradition. But when tradition alienates, HR has to act. Our role is not to plan the party. It is to ensure everyone is safe, seen, and supported throughout it.

Being intentional does not mean being joyless. It means shifting from assuming “this is fun for everyone” to asking “who does this really serve?” That shift alone can prevent well-intended celebrations from becoming silent sources of exclusion.

HR must take ownership of both the tone and structure of workplace celebrations. It is not enough to send a holiday party invite with a sentence about welcoming all beliefs. Inclusion must be built into the design from the beginning, through who is consulted, how events are communicated, and what alternatives are offered.

Leadership plays a key role as well. When leaders openly support flexible options and avoid centering dominant cultural norms, it signals that inclusion is not seasonal. It is cultural. This is what separates performative diversity from operational equity.

Let your culture be festive, but let it also be fair.

The information contained in this site is provided for informational purposes only, and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject matter.