I am preaching to the choir, but we can all agree that HR is one of the most challenging roles in the workplace. Not only are you powerless and responsible at the same time, but the level of support you receive from your CEO and leadership team can vary from one workplace to the next. That gap directly affects your stress level, burnout, and overall health.

Only 29% of HR professionals feel their work is valued in their organization. According to Sage’s 2024 report on the Changing Face of HR, 62% said they are considering leaving the profession, and 95% of HR leaders say working in HR is simply too much work and stress.

Whether it is the endless paperwork or the isolating nature of the role, it is clear the position can be unsustainable. Still, we all have bills to pay and many of us may need to tolerate difficult workplaces until something better comes along. What we can control, however, is how we think about and respond to these challenges. That shift in perspective can change everything.

“Ninety-nine percent of the time it is the behavior or the opinions of someone else that is stressing you out,” says Mel Robbins, motivational speaker and author of The Let Them Theory. The cost of not applying this theory is everything when it comes to maintaining your inner peace at work. In fact, 47% of people said so in her recent poll on LinkedIn.

The Let Them Theory is a mindset shift that encourages us to stop trying to control or change others and instead focus on our own actions and well-being.

Many of us deal with imposter syndrome, especially as we move up in the organization. “Self-doubt can feel debilitating, but it can also spark opportunities for reflection and growth,” says Melody Beuzelin writer of SHRM magazine. That opportunity is in using tools like the Let Them Theory to stop fighting with reality about the way things really are in your organization and the team you work with.

When a leader says, “He or she is just a terrible employee,” you can respond by reminding them you cannot control another person. Then ask them to consider: Have you been clear about expectations? Are you micromanaging? Have you defined what success looks like? If not, then the problem is not only the employee, it is also the process and communication.

When expectations are unclear, leaders end up second-guessing employees and overriding decisions, which trains the team to stop trusting themselves. That paralysis is often what damages the organization most. The power of Let Me is in taking full responsibility for your part.

The Let Them Theory is especially powerful when you put it into the daily realities of HR:

Policy pushback: When employees resist policies you have worked hard to implement, let them. Not everyone will agree, but you can control how clearly you explain the “why” and how consistently you apply the policy. That steadiness builds trust, even in disagreement.

A CEO who minimizes HR’s value: Let them. You may not be able to change your CEO’s view overnight, but you can be honest with yourself about their mindset and decide whether to shift your own perspective, find ways to show impact through data, or consider a new environment where HR is more respected.

Endless people problems: Let them. Employees will always bring forward conflicts, complaints, and crises. You cannot take on their emotional weight as your own. Protecting your energy, setting boundaries, and using “let me” to check in with your own clarity ensures their problems do not define your mental health.

Many of us spend our time trying to control other people: their reactions, behaviors, and ways of being in relationship with us. But we do not actually have control over any of this. Trying to change others can drive us to exhaustion.

For HR professionals especially, the role itself comes with limited control. You cannot change your CEO, but you can be honest with yourself about who your CEO is, and then either find a different job or shift your perspective about what you can control at work.

We all have opinions about how people should act or behave, yet most of the time we are fighting against what we cannot change. Applying the Let Them Theory helps you reclaim your power, put criticism into perspective, and regain your sense of inner peace at work.

So much is outside of our control, but the real power is in what we choose to manage within ourselves. That is where the Let Them Theory becomes one of the most important tools not just for surviving HR, but for continuing to sustain ourselves as leaders who shape healthier workplaces.

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