Dear Ellie, Is This an Employee Issue or a Team Culture Problem?

Dear Ellie,

How do I handle a slightly annoying employee? (And no, we don’t have a policy against being annoying.)

We are a small company with six production employees. Recently, I have received complaints from five of them about the sixth. She gets her work done, maybe a little slower than the rest, but acceptable, and she tends to overshare her personal life and chat constantly while working.

Leadership wants a relaxed environment where conversation is fine, but the team claims she is distracting.

Here is the twist. She is older than most of the staff. I suspect this is actually a case of the younger employees picking on the older woman, with one or two “ringleaders” influencing the group to freeze her out. I have tried addressing it, and things settle down for a week or two, but the complaints always return.

Is she the problem for talking too much, or are they the problem for excluding her? How do I fix this without killing the culture?

Sincerely,

HR Referee

First, let me validate the specific headache of the small shop. In a team of six, an annoying person is not just a blip on the radar. They are the whole weather. The atmosphere in the room depends entirely on the mood of the group at that size.

Look, I have the flavor of neurodivergence that only lets me focus on one thing at a time, so being on a team with a consistent chatterer and oversharer throughout my workday honestly sounds like my worst nightmare, no matter the team size. That said, I have self-awareness about it, and in response, I set boundaries around coworkers and splitting attention, and I establish the accommodations I need to enforce them. I see where we can equip your folks with some of these tools.

You called it, though. Being annoying is not a policy violation. However, being exclusive, cliquey, or potentially ageist is a culture violation. You suspect this is “The Youths vs. the Older Woman.” My gut says you are right. So we need to separate this into two buckets:

• Her behavior: Oversharing and talking too much. This is a social calibration issue.
• Their reaction: Complaining, isolating, and potentially targeting her based on age. This is a professionalism issue.

Right now, the group is treating her personality like a performance problem. It is not. But their reaction is a cultural problem. We need to coach her on reading the room, and we need to coach them on not being a bully.

1. Social Cues Coaching (for her): Give her the gift of feedback. Frame it around focus, not personality.

• The script: “Jane, I value your energy. However, during production time, I need you to dial back the personal sharing. Some of the team finds it hard to focus on quality checks when there is active conversation. Let’s save the stories for break times.”
• Why it works: You are not saying, “You are annoying.” You are saying, “The talking is distracting from the work.”

2. Professionalism Reset (for the ringleaders): Pull the main complainers aside individually.

• The script: “I’ve been hearing complaints about Jane. You do not have to be friends, but you do need to be respectful. If she slows down your work, let’s talk about ways we can set better boundaries around your time and space. If you just find her personality different, manage that internally. An ‘us versus them’ mentality is not what our culture is about.”
• The tool: If safety allows, authorize the use of earbuds or headphones so the team can tune out her and other distractions, while also providing a visual cue that they are not available for conversation.

3. Manager Communication: You mentioned leadership wants a certain type of culture. Coach them on how they set the standard for the social contract on the floor.

• Empower the focus request: Teach managers to tell the team, “You have permission to say, ‘I’m in the zone and need to focus.’ You do not need me to save you from a conversation.”
• The interruption: If a distraction happens, the manager steps in. “Hey team, volume down on stories, volume up on production. Thanks.”
• Define the mix: Have managers explicitly state the boundary. “We love the chatter during setup and cleanup, but during the core run, we need heads-down mode.”

And now, a word from HR to HR

Let’s talk about that ageism radar of yours. Trust it.

There is a subtle cruelty that happens when younger generations enter the workforce and view older employees as out of touch or slow. If you let five employees gang up on one because she is the “chatty auntie” figure they do not respect, you are letting them define your culture.

You cannot mandate that they like her. But you can mandate that they include her. If you see eye-rolling or exclusion from work conversations, shut it down immediately. “We treat people with dignity in this shop” is a complete sentence.

Stay resilient,

Ellie

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Elizabeth “Ellie” Tancreti is a seasoned HR consultant (and former Senior Recruiter, Onboarding/People and Culture Specialist) who’s faced the same challenges—and helps professionals like you get unstuck.

Bring your questions—on burnout, alignment, career pivots, leadership challenges, building culture, or any thorny questions keeping you up at night. Ask your question and get Ellie’s advice.

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