Dear Ellie,

I need to vent for a moment. I’m currently out on medical LOA and am an HR department of one. Before going out unexpectedly, I emailed my leadership team, set up an out-of-office reply on email and Teams, and even listed three specific contacts for employees to reach out to in my absence.

Despite all of that, employees, and even a supervisor, are still texting and calling me directly, even though I’m out for a while. I respond politely, remind them I’m on LOA, and redirect them to the appropriate contact, but honestly, I’m frustrated that my boundaries aren’t being respected.

I know I could just ignore the messages, but I also don’t want to leave anyone hanging. It’s exhausting. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

Signed,

(On Leave, but) Still Here

I hate this for you. Truly. The “Department of One” is quite possibly the loneliest number in corporate America, especially when you are trying to heal, rest, or step away from the office.

I know we just met, but this type of behavior makes me want to virtually slash a tire in your honor. We do a lot to protect LOA time for others, and it’s a huge disappointment when that protection isn’t reciprocated.

To start, you did a lot of things right. You communicated, you delegated, and you set the boundary. Even before that, you made the super hard choice to leave work to take care of yourself, a choice that’s even more difficult for an HR team of one to make. I applaud you for investing in your own care.

And here is the tough love. Answering your phone is the problem that needs solving.

Every time you politely respond and redirect them, you are teaching them a very specific lesson: “My boundaries are porous. If you poke me, I will still respond.” By answering, you are confirming that the emergency contacts you listed are fake and that you are the only true path to salvation. You have to stop not wanting to leave anyone hanging. You are on medical leave. You are the one hanging.

Let’s be clear: your time and space are not being respected. But I believe we have a lot more power to protect our boundaries than we think we do. These employees and supervisors are adults; they can, and will, figure things out without you if you give them the chance to. And that chance comes in the form of a rejected call.

The health risks of HR burnout are real. According to the findings of an HR Mental Wellbeing Report this year, 87% of HR professionals said they do not feel sufficiently supported at work, while 63% said they were “very likely” experiencing burnout. A further 15% reported being at risk of burnout, bringing the total proportion of affected respondents to a staggering 78%. You likely already know this, but the toll burnout can have on our body and mind is nothing to mess around with. It can cause sleep disturbances, depression, anxiety, fatigue, cardiovascular issues, and more. So, while you’re taking much-needed time during your leave of absence, you do not need the additional burnout of a people-focused role. It’s time to focus on just you.

The OOO Boundaries Playbook

It’s time to build a fortress around your recovery. We are moving from polite redirection to radio silence.

The Nuclear Text Script. You are allowed to send one final blanket message to the repeat offenders. Copy and paste this, send it, and then do not reply again.

“To focus on my recovery, I am completely disconnecting from work communications effective immediately. I will not see or respond to texts or calls until my return date. Please direct all urgent matters to [Name/Email]. Thank you.”

The Mute Button is Your Best Friend. You need to physically block the intrusion.

• iPhone: Go to Settings > Focus > Do Not Disturb. Set up a Healing focus mode where calls and texts from work contacts are silenced and go straight to voicemail.
• Android: Use Digital Wellbeing to gray out work apps and block specific numbers during your LOA.
• Go Dark: Feeling bold? Uninstall your work apps from your phone. IT can help you get set up again when you return. If you don’t think you can stay out of your inbox or hold true to ignoring calls, remove the temptation entirely.

The Let It Burn Mindset. If a supervisor calls you, and you don’t answer, and a crisis happens, that is the company’s problem, not yours. If the building is literally on fire, they should call 911. If it is an HR fire, the leadership team needs to grab a bucket. You cannot be the fire chief from a recovery room.

I know these tactics will probably feel uncomfortable. We are wired to help.

But we must be our biggest advocates. Treat yourself with the same protective instinct you would have for an employee who was being harassed while on leave.

Let’s talk about liability. By working while on medical leave, and yes, answering texts is working, you are creating a nightmare for your company.

You are potentially interfering with your own FMLA protections and creating a wage and hour violation if you are hourly, or a liability risk if you make a bad decision while on medication or under stress.

But more importantly, you are a human being before you are a resource. The work will always be there. It will be there when you get back, piled high and waiting. But you only get one body and one mind. If you don’t respect your own recovery, no one else will. Lovingly, put the phone down.

Stay resilient (and rest up),

Ellie

Elizabeth “Ellie” Tancreti is a seasoned HR consultant (and former Senior Recruiter, Onboarding/People and Culture Specialist) who’s faced the same challenges—and helps professionals like you get unstuck.

Bring your questions—on burnout, alignment, career pivots, leadership challenges, building culture, or any thorny questions keeping you up at night. Ask your question and get Ellie’s advice.

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